BOB doesn't do 6:00AM

BOB doesn’t do 6:00AM


BOB is a night owl.

BOB is usually awake until 2:00AM.

Then eight hours of sleep –

Do the math –

BOB usually gets up at 10:00AM.

So -

BOB had a dentist appointment one time –

The dental assistant wanted me to come in at 7:00AM.

Our conversation went something like this –

BOB – That’s way too early for me.

She – But we need you to come in that early so we can start working on you at 8:00.

BOB – Let me ask you - what time do you wake up in the morning?

She – 5:00AM

BOB – OK – I usually wake up at 10:00.  In order for me to be here by 7:00 – I would have to wake up at 6:00.  Four hours before I normally get up.  How about you get up at 1:00 and come over to my house at 2:00 – you know - before you go to work - I’ll make the coffee.

She laughed – I think she got it – but BOB still had to come in at 7:00AM.

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And for those of you who think - well - just go to bed at 10:00PM instead of 2:00AM - like me -

BOB says - you just try to go to bed at 6:00PM instead of 10:00PM - see how it feels.



But then again – it’s probably just me.

Seven Years Ago Today

Seven years ago today –

BOB quit smoking.

It was totally unplanned.

This Is How I Did It.

I woke up one morning and thought –

I wonder how long I can go without a cigarette?

Mind you – I smoked almost a pack a day – for almost 40 years.

One or two before I left the house in the morning.

Another one on the drive to work.

Another one around 10:00AM.

Another two or three at lunch.

Another one around 3:00PM.

Another one on the drive home from work.

The rest in the evening while I watched TV.

BOB enjoyed smoking - every single one of them.

BOB did NOT enjoy the ANTI-smokers and their goody-goody, holier-than-thou attitudes.

Especially the total strangers who believed that it was their duty to tell me to quit.

Don't tell me to quit smoking - and I won't tell you to lose weight!!

But - one day I just woke up and wondered –

How long can I go without a cigarette?

I told myself two things -

1.    I can have a cigarette ANY TIME I want.
2.    But – if I have one - I have to start over counting.

I carried a brand–new – full – open pack of cigarettes in my purse for over a year.

First I made it through one hour -

Then two hours -

Then a whole day –

Then a week –

Then a month –

Then two months –

Then a year –

Then two years –

It has been seven years today –

I can have a cigarette ANY TIME I want.

But – if I have one - I have to start over counting.

BOB doesn't do digital magazines

BOB keeps getting emails touting the digital version of a certain magazine. BOB does not want a digital version of any magazine. BOB sent the following email in reply - This business of doing me a favor by making it digital is crap.  I want a paper magazine that I can read in bed or under a tree - eyestrain is not the issue - printing the magazine is.  You want to put the burden of printing it on me when it should be on you - that's what I'm paying for.  I'm already paying for your magazine so the very least you can do is spend the money on paper and ink to print it and mail it to me on a regular basis.  If you ever decide to make your magazine available only in a digital format - I will cancel my subscription. BOB can really be a Bitchy Old Broad at times. Unfortunately - the company that sent me the email was not the publisher.  The poor person on the receiving end of my rant very graciously replied and provided me with the name of the publisher and an email address - so that I could contact them if I had a problem with my subscription.  Oops!!  Sorry, poor person - I really shouldn't send emails when I'm pissed. But this is - to me - very similar to the situation with BORDERS - "they" want me to do their job for them and I don't like it! If this magazine goes digital - and I''m sure it will eventually - the following is bound to happen - I will cancel my subscription - no big deal there, I'm sure - the company that prints the magazine will no longer have this magazine to print - the company that supplies the paper and ink to the printer will no longer need to - the company that manufactures the printing presses will no longer need to - the company that services/repairs the machinery and premises will no longer need to - all of those people will lose their jobs - all because they want me to do it myself!! C'mon, people - don't you see a trend here???? But then again - it's probably just me.

BOB doesn't do swaps

BOB doesn’t do swaps

Some quilters all into "swaps" – but not BOB.

What if you don't like what they make you?

What if they don't like what you make them?

What if their/your colors aren't right?

What if their/your fabrics aren't right?

What if their/your blocks aren't right?

What if you/they don't like them?

What if I don't want to bother with any of the above?


I like to do things MY WAY - on my own schedule - at my own pace!

(Can you say bitchy old broad??)

And - if I’m going to make twelve of something – it will be for me.

I’m not going to make twelve – give them away – and wait forever to receive some back.

Mine will all be of the same quality and workmanship –

who knows what I’ll get back in return.

If theirs is better than mine – they will feel cheated.

If mine is better than theirs - I will feel cheated.

No win.



But then again – it’s probably just me.

MACRO - MICRO

MACRO – MICRO

I was reading blogs the other day. I won’t tell you which ones – I don’t want to embarrass anyone. One blogger made a remark that just struck me as WRONG.

I didn’t want to leave a comment on her blog – to correct her - that would have been bitchy.
But I can comment HERE – because this is where I can bitch all I want to.
(Check the title of the blog.)

Anyway – (not anyways) – she said -

But, I'm thinking that this is going to be the kind of quilt that's more fun to examine on a macro level, rather than from afar. And, I suppose, that's how quilts are enjoyed anyways - a piece at a time on your lap.

Silly me – I thought that to examine something at (not on) a macro level WAS from afar.
So since when is looking at something up close considered to be at a macro level?

And then two other people chimed in – in the comment section –

#1 - … you're right--it is best appreciated on a macro level. I think of that when I take full-length photos of my quilts. Unless it's a wall hanging, no one will ever see them all stretched out again!

#2 - … you're right that quilts (especially big ones) are most appreciated at the macro level, scrunched up on our laps.

I should remember that next time and not worry too much about the big picutre!

Now – I will overlook the “picutre” – that’s probably just a typo –

But – according to my dictionary – (Webster’s New World Dictionary)

Macro = large - big
Example – macrocosm – universe – any large, complex entity
Example - macroeconomics - entire economy

Micro = little - small
Example – microscopic – so small as to be invisible or obscure except through a microscope
Example - microeconomics - individual consumers

And I know that - in photography -

If you want to photograph something small - to make it look big - 

you want a "macro" view of the "micro" something.


So - if you want the reverse -

If you want to photograph something big - to make it look small - 

wouldn't you want a "micro" view of the "macro" something?

So I repeat -

since when is looking at something up close considered to be at a macro level?


And if it HAS changed – why don’t they rename that thing a MACROscope?



But then again – it’s probably just me.

BOB went to BORDERS

BORDERS (the book store) recently for bankruptcy.  This came as no surprise to BOB.

The last time BOB went to BORDERS it was to look for a specific book that my little sister (bob - blind old bat) had recommended.  I found several other books by the same author - but not the one I was looking for.  (I hate ending a sentence with a preposition - I was taught not to.  Every nun out there is probably looking for her ruler right about now - the better to rap my knuckles with.  See - I keep doing it!)

Anyway - unable to find the book that I was looking for - I ventured over to the store computer to see if it was "in stock" at another location.

I had just found that the book was NOT "in stock" at any store nearby when a twenty-something female employee noticed me at the computer and asked if she could help me.  (Poor little old white-haired lady - must not have a clue!  Another post for another time!)

Our conversation went something like this -

She -
Can (not May) I help you?

Me -
Yes, you can (not may) order this book for me.

She -
Oh, you can order that online and have it delivered to the store.  We can call you when it comes in.

BOB -
Nooooo - that's your job.  It's your job to order books so that they are on the shelf and we can buy them when we come to the store.  If you want me to order the book then you want me to do your job.  And if I order it online and have it delivered to the store - I may as well order it and have it delivered to my home.  That way I don't have to come to the store at all.  And if everybody does that - you won't have anyone coming to the store - the store will close - and you will lose your job.  How's that?

She thought I was kidding!  I wonder where she's not working now?? 

(And I got the book at Barnes and Noble - off the shelf - in case you're wondering.)

===

I don't think "they" realize that the whole point of a job is to get paid to do/make something for someone else.  If "they" want me to do/make it myself - what do I need "them" for?  And they wonder where the jobs are going!!

And if the store closes -

the employees lose their jobs -

they can't buy stuff - 

the cleaning crew has no store to clean -

the landlord loses a tenant -

the landlord can't make the payments on the building -

the building goes into foreclosure -

empty buildings are everywhere -

no one needs to build buildings - there are too many empty ones already -

contractors have no work -

construction workers have no jobs -

etc. - etc. - etc.

Maybe if "they" start doing something for me - I may even pay "them" to do it - and then -

Hey - looky here - a JOB!



But then again - it's probably just me.

Dear Family and Friends

Dear Family and Friends -

HERE BE DRAGONS!!

Anyone who knows BOB/me - in real life - knows what a bitch she/I can be at times.

This blog is for those times.

BOB/I may not be politically correct.

BOB/I may be irreverent.

If someone does or says something that rubs her/me the wrong way - BOB/I is/am liable to talk about him/her here.  That includes you.  Just so you know.

Don't piss BOB/me off - she/I may blog about it.

BOB/I may or may not change your name.

You may or may not recognize yourself in what BOB/I says/say.

SO -

You are more than welcome to visit me on my other blog - but read this one at your own risk!!

I read a quote somewhere -
(I wish I knew the author - BOB/I would LOVE to give her/him credit.)

It seems quite appropriate -

Meddle ye not with dragons - 

For thou art crunchy - 

And good with catsup!!

You have been warned!!

^..^

BOB paid her taxes

BOB paid her taxes

last month.

Now I hear commercials on the radio - 

You know the ones - 

Those tax relief help ads - 

The ones that say - 

Call now - 

If you owe the IRS more than $10,000 - 

We can settle your taxes for a fraction of what you owe - 


How come they can settle YOUR taxes for a fraction of what YOU owe -

And I have to pay ALL of what I owe?



But then again - it's probably just me.

BOB gets junk mail

BOB gets junk mail - 

So she sorts it -

1. trash - cellophane and no name envelopes
2. shred - anything with a name on it
3. return envelopes - postage paid
4. innards - the junk

Then she throws away the trash -

And shreds the stuff that needs to be shredded -

And mails the innards back in the postage paid envelopes.

She mails the insurance stuff to the credit card companies -

and the credit card stuff to the insurance companies.

She sends the other stuff to the other guys.

Makes for a fun day playing "post office".


But then again - it's probably just me.

After Tuesday

Found this - thought you might like it -

Wednesday thought for the day - 

Click here.


My thoughts exactly!!

But then again - it's probably just me.

Two Question Tuesday - 5/10/11

Two Question Tuesday - 5/10/11

Here's the deal -  I really liked Mama M.'s Five Question Friday - but that's just too many questions for me.  So I'm going to do my version - and without the linky thingy.

I'll ask two questions and then give you my answers.  If you want to play - you can give me your answers in the comment section.  If you have a blog and would rather answer them there - just leave a link to your blog instead.  I don't know how to do the "Linky" thing like Mama M. yet - and to be honest - I would rather sew than find out - so I'll do it this way until I figure it out.
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OK - the inspiration for the questions today comes from reading a bunch of blogs over the weekend.  They were all blogs written by quilters - and they covered a wide range of subjects - including quilting - cross-stitch - embroidery - knitting - crochet - cooking/recipes - family - travel - and history.  The first question is pretty general - as you will see.  However - the second question was inspired by a visit to Bonnie Hunter's blog  here.  She had a wonderful photo tour of Christ Church, Philadelphia ((And Betsy Ross too!)) - and she asked a question about what she had found.  The reader comments/responses got me to thinking.

So here goes -

Two questions for you this Tuesday -

1.  Do you like quilt blogs that only talk about quilting?

2.  Do you know your Roman numerals or do you have to look online for a chart?

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1.  Do you like quilt blogs that only talk about quilting?
Yes - actually I do - sometimes.  I like reading about a quilter's project of the day/week/month.  But I also like to read about the other things that interest the blog author.  If their interests match mine - I will probably continue to read their blog.

2.  Do you know your Roman numerals or do you have to look online for a chart?
Yes - I do know my Roman numerals.  And my multiplication tables.  (Still get messed up with 6x7 - 7x8 - though.)  I am a baby boomer.  I know this stuff.

==========

Here's where BOB is going to get in trouble - but - what the hell - nobody reads this blog anyway - except my followers - and they probably agree with me -

The second question was inspired by Bonnie's post about her visit to Christ Church - and your answer (assuming you actually answer the question) will tell me roughly how old you are.

I must admit - I laughed when I read that someone had found a chart of Roman numerals online.

Apparently the generation gap is wider than I thought.

As a baby boomer - I was taught Roman numerals in school and the "chart" is in my head.

The internet is a wonderful resource, but I don't think it's a proper substitute for good old fashioned "learning" stuff.

I'm sure my grandchildren disagree.

Oh, well!

And - I don't want any hate mail - or whatever they call it these days -

This is just my opinion.

And my blog.

==========

OK - your turn.

BOB doesn't do extended warranties

BOB doesn't do extended warranties.

BOB's reasoning is this -

Extended warranties usually offer to replace the item if it breaks within the first year.

So - I ask you -

If it breaks within the first year -

Why on earth would I want another one just like it?



But then again - it's probably just me.

BOB and Two Question Tuesday - 5/3/11

BOB and Two Question Tuesday - 5/3/11

Like I said last week -

Here's the deal -  I really liked Mama M.'s Five Question Friday - but that's just too many questions for me.  So I'm going to do my version - and without the linky thingy.

I'll ask two questions and then give you my answers.  If you want to play - you can give me your answers in the comment section.  If you have a blog and would rather answer them there - just leave a link to your blog instead.  I don't know how to do the "Linky" thing like Mama M. yet - and to be honest - I would rather sew than find out - so I'll do it this way until I figure it out - if you don't mind.  (Computers and I get along sometimes and then they do something stupid like give me "server reject" errors when I try to "insert image".  Drove me nuts on my Design Wall Monday post yesterday.  So no more photos until I figure out what is going on.)
==========

It was that last part - last week - that was the inspiration for this week's first set of two questions designed For Bloggers Only.  But - because I want everybody to play - I'll also ask a second set of two questions - For Readers with or without Blogs.  (Bloggers - please feel free to answer both sets of questions - I don't mind.)  And this week - BOB is going to answer as well.  (Meet BOB here.)

Two questions for you this Tuesday - 

Set #1 -  For Bloggers Only

1A.  How much of your Picasa Web Albums storage are you currently using?

1B.  Did you even know you had Picasa Web Albums?

Set #2 - For Readers with or without Blogs

2A.  Do you like surprises?

2B.  Do you think you cuss too much?

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1A.  How much of your Picasa Web Albums storage are you currently using?
Last week I had maxed out my free storage.  I was using 991 MB (96.87%) of my allotted 1024 MB.  That's why I kept getting "server reject" errors when I tried to upload photos to my blog - no more room!  So I had to upgrade my storage - today I am using 0.98 GB (4.61%) of 21GB.

1B.  Did you even know you had Picasa Web Albums?
No - I had no idea!  It was a complete surprise to me!

2A.  Do you like surprises?
Nope - never have.  They make me nervous.  Most surprises in my life have not been the "fun" kind.  (BOB may need to do a post on surprises - especially THIS one!!) 

2B.  Do you think you cuss too much? 
I try to watch my mouth on my blog - but BOB says "Fuck, yeah!"

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OK - your turn.

Talk to you later - gotta go - gotta sew -