Widowhood Wednesday - 10/29/14

==========
DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========

I have a combo printer - copier - scanner -

And one day I thought of a “shortcut” -

In the “What will I have to deal with?” department -

So I made a copy of everything in his wallet -

And mine - ;))

I figured that was a fast and easy way -

To gather some basic information -

And to give me an idea of some of the other “Ducks” -

That I would have to deal with eventually - ;))



PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))


===
HOMEWORK -

Make a copy of everything in his wallet - and yours -
For the binder -

Driver’s license -
Social Security card -
Credit cards -
Debit cards - -
Big Box Store membership cards -
Etc.

Then find the BASIC INFORMATION SHEET -
In your stack of checklists and printouts -
And fill it out - ;))

===

Now that BOB has got you started -
You can take it from here -
Just take your time -
Make your lists -
Get yourself organized -
But take a break for now -
And ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS - ;))

BOB will be back NEXT YEAR -
With more little tidbits - ;))

But first I’m going to try to get though the holidays -
Without the love of my life - ;((

I gotta tell you -
You won’t get to decide when you join this club -
But be prepared -
Because the membership dues are a bitch - ;((

Widowhood Wednesday - 10/22/14

DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========

The next bunch of notifications were GOVERNMENT entities - ;))

On Monday I had on my list -

To contact -

Social Security - HERE -

Medicare - HERE -

And the Veteran’s Administration - HERE - ;))

I re-checked the websites for “What to do when someone dies” -

And how to “Report a Death” -

Just in case the rules had changed -

Since the last time I printed them out - ;))

And did them in reverse order -

First the VA - HERE -
Checked the tab - Burials & Memorials -
Checked the Burial Benefits - HERE -
Printed out several of the sections and forms -
Made a file -
Set it aside -

Then Medicare - HERE -
It said to call Social Security -
Maybe kill two birds with one call? -
Printed that out -
Set it aside -

Then Social Security - HERE -

It said that “the funeral director will report the person’s death to Social Security” - Printed that out -
Made a file -
Called the Medical School -
And the lady said that they had already informed Social Security -
And Medicare was then notified by Social Security -
So - yeah - two birds - done already - ;))

I told her that she had done TWO-THIRDS -
Of my chores for the day -
And thanked her VERY much - ;))

Then I went back to the Social Security stuff -
And re-read it to see what applied to me -

He was receiving Social Security -
So I had to call the bank -
To “Request that any funds received for the month of death or later be returned to Social Security.”
The example given is “If the person dies in July, you must return the benefit paid in August.” So he died in June - and I had to return the benefit paid in July.
The bank wasted NO time in doing that - ;))

Then I made a note to check out the other “benefits” -
And put the file in the “Pending” accordion file for later -

I also put the VA file in the “Pending” accordion file for later -
I figured -
No VA pension -
And his body was donated to science -
So -
No body -
No burial -
No funeral service -

I was wrong -
When I finally got around to actually READING the VA Burial Benefits - HERE -

It turned out that I could apply for several things -

A burial flag - HERE - which I got from the post office -

A Presidential Memorial Certificate - HERE -
Pending -

“In Memory Of” Memorial Headstones and Markers -
Are available to those whose bodies are “donated to science” - HERE -
Pending -

We may even have a Burial Service -
When the Memorial Marker is approved - ;))

And - as the surviving spouse of a veteran -
I may also be eligible for VA Burial Benefits - HERE -
When my time comes - ;))


So READ the forms -
You may be eligible for more than you think - ;))



PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))



===
HOMEWORK -

Make a list of GOVERNMENT contacts to notify -

Check the websites for “What to do when someone dies” -
Or how to “Report a Death” -
And print out the information and/or the forms you need -
The rules may change -
So bookmark those websites -
And update the information and/or forms periodically -

Social Security - HERE -

Medicare - HERE -

Veteran’s Administration - HERE - and HERE -

Widowhood Wednesday - 10/15/14

==========
DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========

That first Friday -

I made two more BUSINESS calls - ;))

My husband got a pension from his former employer -

And I had a copy of one of his checks in the binder -

Thinking that was all I needed -

BUT -

Nowhere on the check was a PHONE NUMBER to call -

So I had to look that up -

And figure out exactly whom I needed to inform of his death - ;))

Also -

Our Medical and Dental Insurance Premiums -

Though his former employer -

Were deducted from his pension check -

And my premium changed from “Family” coverage to “Surviving Spouse” -

So I had to contact his former employer’s HR department -

To inform them and arrange for the payment of the new premiums - ;))



PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))



===
HOMEWORK -

Make a list of CURRENT/FORMER EMPLOYER contacts to notify -

PENSION people - if your husband gets a pension check -
Make a copy of the check -
AND -
Get the name and phone number of the person you need to notify in the event of his death -

HUMAN RESOURCES DEPT -
If Medical/Dental insurance is deducted from the pension check -
Get the name and phone number of the person you need to notify in the event of his death -

These people can also spread the word around the “office” -
And save you some phone calls and emails - ;))

Widowhood Wednesday - 10/8/14

DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========


My husband died on a Thursday -

So the next day - Friday -

I contacted the first batch of BUSINESS people -

And another FAMILY member -

Then I was able to concentrate on notifying -

More FAMILY and FRIENDS -

Over the weekend -

Before contacting more BUSINESS people on Monday - ;))

The first three BUSINESS people I notified were -

Our Attorney - for “Family Trust” issues -
It seems that nobody makes a “Will” these days -
Having a “Family Trust” is the current rage -

Our Accountant - because I don’t DO our taxes anymore - haha -
And the IRS and State Income Tax Dept need to know that he died -
And the accountant can take care of that for me -

Our Financial Advisor - who handles our IRA’s -
We each have one -
And they each have beneficiaries -
In the event of our deaths -

And as I made my calls -

I made a note of who needed a “Certified” copy of the Death Certificate -

And who would accept a “regular” copy -

Because the dang things are expensive -

And I didn’t want to get more than I needed - ;))



PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))


===
HOMEWORK -

Make a list of BUSINESS contacts to notify -

Your Attorney - if you have one or have a “Family Trust” -
Your Accountant - if you have one do your taxes -
Your Financial Advisor - if you have one or any investments or IRAs -

Widowhood Wednesday - 10/1/14

==========
DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========

With all of the LISTS -

That I had made -

I realized one day -

That I had missed some VERY important people -

Who I contacted only ONCE a year -

EVERY year - ;))

They were on my CHRISTMAS CARD LIST -

So I printed out a sheet of labels -

And wrote a short note -

To the ones I had forgotten -

To tell them the sad news - ;))



PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))


===
HOMEWORK -

Double-check your CHRISTMAS CARD LIST -
To make sure that you didn’t forget someone -
And add them to your list of FAMILY and FRIENDS - ;))

And print out a sheet of labels -
If you use those -
While you are at it -
It may save you some time later - ;))

Widowhood Wednesday - 9/24/14

==========
DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========

I FORGOT to make this list -

Until I realized that I had joined the Widow Club -

And that Linda J had notified me by email -

BEFORE she posted her tribute -

When her dear DJ died -

And I totally forgot to tell her BEFORE I posted My Guy -

I just missed it -

So do as I SAY -

Not as I DID - ;))



PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))


===
HOMEWORK -

Make a list of BLOGGY BUDDIES to notify -

Include name- blog name - email address -
List them in the order in which you want them notified -

Widowhood Wednesday - 9/17/14

==========
DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========

You know the drill by now -

Another list - ;))

And while I'm at it -

I would like to point out that -

YOU and YOUR HUSBAND already know -

All of the names and information -

On all of these lists -

And you may not need to write it all down -

BUT -

If anything were to happen to the TWO of you -

SOMEONE ELSE needs to know this stuff - ;))

YOUR family may not know all of HIS family -

YOUR friends may not know all of HIS friends or each other -

YOUR co-workers may not know HIS co-workers - etc. -

You two are probably the only ones who know ALL of these people - ;))

===

I had called the NEIGHBOR across the street -

On the day my husband died -

And he told the neighbor two doors down - ;))

Another day I told the neighbor who lives behind me -

And then one day I saw another neighbor walking down the street -

And asked her to come over -

Then she told another couple of neighbors -

And the word slowly spread -

And they all came over one by one -

To offer their condolences and help - ;))

So you don’t have to do it ALL by yourself -

Enlist the help of others -

And don’t be afraid to ASK for help - ;))

People generally WANT to help -

They just don’t know WHAT you want/need to be done -

So just ASK them -

They probably will be glad to do whatever it is -

But they can’t read your mind - ;))



PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))



===
HOMEWORK -

Make a list of NEIGHBORS to notify -

Include name - address - phone numbers - email addresses -
List them in the order in which you want them notified -
And the best way to notify them - phone - email - written note - or in person -

Then try to make a telephone tree -
That will work for you - ;))

Widowhood Wednesday - 9/10/14

DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========

I had a separate list of FRIENDS to contact -

I couldn’t contact everybody on the first day -

But I had the list in the order in which I wanted to notify them -

So the first day I contacted the first one -

And each day -

I would contact one or two more -

Working my way down the list - ;))

Remember that you can take your time here, too - -

And you can use the “telephone tree” method -

Call one person -

And have that person call or tell a couple of others for you -

You don’t have to do it ALL by yourself - ;))

And you still need to BREATHE!! - ;))



PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))



===
HOMEWORK -

Make a list of FRIENDS to notify -

Include name - address - phone numbers - email addresses -
List them in the order in which you want them notified -
And the best way to notify them - phone - email - written note - or in person -

Then try to make a telephone tree -
That will work for you - ;))

Widowhood Wednesday - 9/3/14

==========
DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========

If you haven't already -

Go back to last week's post -

And read the Comments -

Katie M. made a good point -

And I added some information of my own - ;))

===

I had a separate list of FAMILY to contact -

I couldn’t contact everybody on the first day -

I just couldn’t do it -

But I had the list in the order in which I wanted to notify them -

So the first day I contacted the first one -

And each day -

I would contact one or two more -

Working my way down the list - ;))

Remember that you can take your time -

And you can use the telephone tree method -

Call one person -

And have that person call or tell a couple of others for you -

You don’t have to do it ALL by yourself - ;))

And remember to BREATHE!! - ;))




PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))


===
HOMEWORK -

Make a list of FAMILY to notify -

Include name - address - phone numbers - email addresses -
List them in the order in which you want them notified -
And the best way to notify them - phone - email - written note - or in person -

Then try to make a telephone tree -
That will work for you - ;))

Widowhood Wednesday - 8/27/14

==========
DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========

When my husband died -
He was under “In-Home Hospice Care” -
And “Continuous Care” (24-hour care) -
And that day a Hospice Nurse -
Hospice Case Manager -
And the Hospice Pastor -
All happened to be here with us -

The Hospice Case Manager contacted the Hospice head-honcho Doctor -
To give him the information he needed for the death certificate -
And made the arrangements to shut down the “In-Home Hospice Care” -
And the Hospice Pharmacy service -

The Hospice Pastor volunteered to contact the Funeral Home for me -
But there was no “Funeral Home” to notify -
My husband had wanted to be an organ donor -
But cancer patients aren’t allowed - for obvious reasons -
So he did some research on the internet -
And was able to donate his “Whole Body” to a Medical School for research -
So the Pastor contacted the Medical School per the donor registration card -
And they came within three hours -

The Hospice Nurse was in charge of destroying the meds -
The Pastor and I had to witness the destruction and sign off on it -

I called Family Member #1 -
To let them know -
And told them that I would call again later that evening -
For a longer chat -

Then I called Friend #1 -
She came over -
After a while - the Hospice Manager and Hospice Nurse both left -
And my Friend #1 and the Pastor stayed with me -
Until the Medical School people arrived -

After everyone had left -
I called back Family Member #1 -
For the longer chat -

And then I called Neighbor #1 - across the street -
To let them know -

I had been working on my My Guy post for months -
So I edited that for the last time -
And posted it -

And that was enough for that day - ;))



PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))



===
HOMEWORK - IMMEDIATE CONTACTS -

Make a list of your DOCTORS -
One of them will probably be the “Attending Physician” -
Who will have to sign off on the death certificate -

Make a list of FUNERAL HOME CHOICES -
For funeral arrangements -
Include the nearest VA cemetery if your husband is a veteran -
And consider donating your “Whole Body” to a local Medical School -

Include name - address - phone numbers - email addresses -
List them in the order in which you want them notified -
And the best way to notify them - phone - email - written note - or in person -

You can start with just the names -
And fill in the rest later - ;))

And while you’re at it -
Make a list of his meds and yours -
You will have to notify your non-Hospice Pharmacy -
To shut down their file(s) -
But you don’t have to do that on the first day - ;))

Widowhood Wednesday - 8/20/14

==========
DISCLAIMER -
This is NOT intended to be professional advice of ANY sort!!
Please talk to your attorney and accountant about your affairs -
Your situation is unique to YOU!!
This is simply some of what I did - and it may or may not be -
What you want/need to do when the time comes - ;))
==========

When we first started to line up our “Ducks” -
We talked about EVERYTHING -
And it is DEFINITELY easier if you TALK to each other -
About EVERYTHING!! - ;))

We both checked the internet for “What to do when someone dies” -
We both researched a variety of topics -

I printed out a bunch of checklists -
Got a large 3-ring binder and several sets of divider sheets -
Started making lists -
Collected the information -
Sorted and organized it in the binder -
Using little post-it notes instead of the label inserts for the tabs -
They are “moveable” and you don’t waste the label inserts - ;))

I tried to get myself pretty organized -
Then he died -
And I switched gears - ;))

The binder was good for collecting and organizing the information -
But then I actually had to “Deal with it” -
So I got a bunch of file folders -
And some accordion files -
And as I made the files -
I sorted them into the following categories -

To Do/Call
Errands
Pending
Done

Everything “To Do/Call” was in the binder -
All nice and neat -
So I systematically went through the binder -
I would pull a list or section from the binder - To Do/Call -
Make a file -
Make the call -
Write down the phone number - when I called - who I talked to - what was said -
Then I either had to file a form or make another follow-up call - To Do/Call -
Or go somewhere - to do something - an Errand -
Or wait for them to send me something - Pending -
Or it was - Done - ;))

It’s been over a month now -
And I am pretty much done -
Except for some “Pending” stuff -
And I can’t control how fast they send me -
Whatever it is they’re sending me -
So I just have to wait - ;))

And while I wait -
I want to blog and sew - ;))



PLEASE REMEMBER -
This is simply some of what I did -
And it may or may not be what you want or need to do -
When the time comes - ;))

===
HOMEWORK -

#1 - Check the internet for “What to do when someone dies” -
And print out a bunch of checklists -
It will give you an idea of what needs to be done.
What I did may not be EXACTLY what you need to do -
And it may seem overwhelming at first -
But it IS doable -
In small chunks - ;))

#2 - Get a large 3-ring binder and several sets of divider sheets - ;))

#3 - Put everything you printed out -
And all of the information that you collect -
And all of the lists that you make -
In the binder -
To be sorted and organized later - ;))

You can also decide later -
Or when the time comes -
In which order you want/need to do -
Whatever it is that you want/need to do - ;))

And the more I think about it -
BOB should do her homework, too -
Because she may as well get her own “Ducks” lined up -
To make it easier for those I will someday leave behind - ;))

But this particular assignment is done - haha -
Because I already have the lists printed out -
And I have the binder -
And I have the divider sets -
So I can collect and organize my information -
But, unfortunately, someone else will have to deal with it -
Because I won’t be here - ;))

BOB's Tuesday Toast - 5/6/14

Here’s to Big Box Stores -

May they stop hiding moving stuff - ;))

===

BOB went to a Big Box Store the other day -

And on the list was -

Tortilla Chips and Salsa - ;))

BOB found the Tortilla Chips -

No problem -

On the end-cap -

Where it was the LAST time BOB went to the store - ;))

But the Salsa -

The one that BOB likes -

The MILD kind -

That was always right NEXT to the chips -

Wasn’t there this time - ;))

They had a DIFFERENT one in its place -

A MEDIUM kind -

And BOB doesn’t WANT -

The NEW and DIFFERENT and MEDIUM one -

BOB wants the one BOB wants - ;))

BOB eventually found it -

Next to the Canned Pickled Olives -

Across from the Cocoa -

In the Spice aisle - ;))

BOB doesn’t understand the logic -

Behind putting it there -

Unless they hide move the stuff that BOB wants -

In an effort to make BOB buy something else -

In which case -

BOB won’t buy the something else -

On general principles -

And will go to a different store -

To get what she wants -

If she has to - ;))



But then again - it’s probably just me - ;))

BOB and Tax Day - 2014

Here’s to tax day -

May everyone get a refund - ;))

===

Today - April 15 -

Is Income Tax Day in the U.S. - ;))

Tax returns are due today -

Unless you file an EXTENSION - ;))

BOB always thought it strange -

That an EXTENSION -

Extended the time that you had to FILE -

Your Income Tax Return -

BUT -

NOT the time you had to PAY -

The Income Tax you owe - ;))

Now how am I supposed to know -

How MUCH I owe -

If I need more time -

To prepare my return -

To figure out -

How MUCH I owe?? - ;))



But then again - it’s probably just me - ;))